Suicide is Anything But Silent
by PhantasyPhan13
Summary: After falling into the wormhole, Loki has plenty of time to reflect on all that he did to Asgard. Every mistake, every agony, every shocking revelation has time to replay over and over again in his head. But Loki soon realizes that he isn't alone. And the entity tormenting him is anything but harmless. And a certain cosmic manipulator has his eye on Loki and the Tesseract...


Suicide is Anything But Silent

Loki sucked in a shaky breath and shut his eyes as he fell into the wormhole. He had failed in his desperate quest to please his father, and now there was nothing left for him back in Asgard. Everything he'd meticulously planned had fallen apart. They'd know everything now-his genocide attempt, his manipulation of the Frost Giants, the murder of Laufey.

There was no way he could show his face in Asgard again. He'd be thrown in prison for life-or worse, executed-if he did so much as say hello. Besides, he didn't want to go back anyway. Everything he'd been so carefully working for had crumbled into ashes, and if he didn't have a right to the throne, he had a right to nothing.

A surge of anger flashed through him at this thought-how could Odin tell him that he no right to be a king if his heritage erased any chance he had to sit on the throne? Why would Odin falsely raise his hopes if he knew that Loki wouldn't ever have the same privilege that Thor had always had since the day he came into the world?

It was cruelty-cruelty that still made Loki's heart burn with pain and betrayal. His whole life was a lie, and yet Odin didn't seem to care how much it had hurt him to learn this. Well, now that he was going to die anyway, Loki hoped that all of Asgard would mourn for everything they'd done to him. The idea of Odin suffering for his adopted son's suicide made Loki smile twistedly. At least his death would give Odin a taste of the pain that wracked Loki all his life.

Loki held his breath, waiting for the end. He had no idea what death was like, and truth be told, he was a bit afraid of what might come. Thor had told him that some humans believed in something called an afterlife and places called Heaven and Hell that people would go to when they passed on, depending on whether they'd been good or bad. Loki didn't believe it himself-certainly, Frigga and Odin had never instilled such ideas into his head when they'd raised him and Thor, and the idea of ghosts or spirits seemed implausible at best.

He shook a little, wondering if he'd made the right decision. What if there really was a place for him left in the world after all? Perhaps there was another chance to prove himself to Odin after all. Maybe Frigga would speak up for him, and he'd be able to return to Asgard alive and come up with a better plot to make Odin see him as a hero….

No. There was no chance for anything like that at all. Odin would surely hate him now, nobody else in Asgard was particularly fond of him, and Thor would be too busy basking in the glow of the praise he'd surely receive for his glorious actions. Loki glowered in envy for a moment, imagining the other Asgardians cheering and patting Thor on the back for his so-called heroism. Loki couldn't see what was so great about what Thor had accomplished-all he'd done was get stranded on Midgard, find a somewhat attractive woman, and fight off a giant fire-breathing piece of metal. _He _could've done something far more impressive if anyone had bothered to listen to him. But no-his idiot brother could get praised for going on a vacation to Midgard, and yet everyone would believe Loki a traitor for trying to wipe out the threat of the Frost Giants forever.

Loki snapped out of his thoughts and braved a peek at the abyss he was falling through. He shuddered and quickly shut his eyes again. The devastating emptiness of the wormhole was too much to handle. He bit his lip until it bled, willing himself not to weep. If he was going to die, he might as well do it bravely in case anyone was there to see him. He didn't think there was anyone else out in this maddening wasteland, but he didn't want to spend his last moments quivering and afraid like a coward. No, he should go out stoically to prove that, no matter what kind of abomination he was, he still had courage left in him.

For a few moments, nothing seemed to happen. Confused, Loki tried to breathe, then realized, to his horror, that he was unable to inhale. Panicking, he tried again to breathe in, but failed once more. His chest felt like it was going to burst open. Flailing, Loki inwardly screamed in terror as he tumbled around in the wormhole like dirty clothes in a washing machine. Black spots flashed before his eyes, and he felt himself start to pass out.

Unable to do anything, Loki waited impatiently for the end. He'd hoped that his death would be instant, but it seemed that being exposed to the emptiness of space was not something that killed one instantaneously. Being a Frost Giant might also have something to do with his survival-he didn't know much about them, but he wouldn't have been surprised if his Frost Giant genes had something to do with it.

He would have pondered this further, but thinking became more difficult as more air escaped from his body. He prayed for death to come quickly as his sight faded and his body began to swell. There was no going back now-he had lost everything, and the only thing left to lose was his life. All thoughts bordering on coherent left his mind as his eyes finally closed and he slipped into complete oblivion.

A few seconds later, Loki felt something on his face that seemed suspiciously like fresh air. Cautious, he took in a tiny breath, then gasped as he realized that he could breathe again. Suspicion immediately filled his brain-was he dead? Was this all a dream? Or had he somehow been saved from the wormhole?

Loki slowly opened his eyes, flinching at how painful it was to lift his swollen eyelids. To his surprise, he was still spiraling headlong into the wormhole. Uncertain as to whether he was still alive, he hesitantly touched his face. He felt his clammy skin quite firmly under his trembling fingers. Anxiously, he made an attempt to straighten himself, but he continued flipping over and over. He thought he saw a disturbing face laughing at him as he fell, but he wasn't entirely sure-after losing so much oxygen, he wouldn't be surprised if he'd simply imagined it.

A few moments later, he heard a mad cackle ring out in the silence. "Who are you?" Loki called suspiciously. He heard the laughter again-it seemed as though the laugher was mocking him. Anger swelled in Loki, and he shouted, "How dare you mock me! You monster! I am Loki, of Asgard, and if you don't tell me who you are and what you intend to do with me, all of Asgard will attack this fool who dares to mock one of their own!"

"Silence, child," hissed the mysterious voice. Loki shivered and shut up, sensing that this was not the right person to mess with.

The voice continued, "We have discovered an energy source called the Tesseract on the human realm. The energy contained within is power enough to wipe out entire worlds. I fully intend to use its power to destroy Earth and many worlds beyond. I require your assistance to retrieve it. If you help me with this plan…I will reward you with enough power to wipe out Asgard if you wish. If you do not…."

"You'll leave me to die here in this wretched wormhole? Very well then. I'll keep falling if that's what you want," Loki snapped. All he really wanted was to just die already and escape the endless spiral of his imprisonment in the wormhole. He did not trust the mysterious speaker-he had the feeling that this being had the power to do the most horrible things to his mind and body, but he did not care what happened to him anymore. He was past the point of caring for anything that would befall him. Death would be a better deal than continuing to live and serving a being he did not know who might inflict even greater tortures upon him.

Unfortunately, the mysterious being did not seem to agree with Loki's view of the matter. "Nobody else can do the job. If you continue to refuse my requests, then my master will make sure that you suffer for the rest of your days," the strange being threatened.

Loki laughed at the being's pathetic threat. "There's nothing you can do that would make my condition any worse than it is now," he snickered. "Unless your master can bend space and time, I don't see how anything your master does could possibly be worse than dying alone in a wormhole in the middle of a great nothingness."

The being snarled at him and let out a shriek so horrible that Loki had to cover his ears in fear of going deaf. Gulping, Loki tried to hide his fear, as he did not want the being to know it had succeeded in frightening him. He turned away from the being and tried frantically to focus on something else. He knew that the being would continue to taunt him as long as he allowed it to get a rise out of him.

There were always thoughts of vengeance and jealousy, but Loki, strangely enough, did not feel like stewing over how jealous he was of Thor for being Odin's favorite son. He felt strangely sick of life, and now that his suicide attempt had failed, he did not feel as though anything that had happened held any meaning for him.

He suddenly wondered if he still had any throwing knives left in his pocket. All he had to do was stab the right place, and it would all be over for him. After a desperate search through the pockets of his clothing, Loki managed to discover a tiny dagger. He lifted it over his head and swiftly brought it towards his throat, attempting to dig it in as far as it could go. "Sorry, father," Loki whispered as the shining blade drew blood from his neck. The red fluid then formed into globules before drifting into the great expanse of space.

However, as soon as the knife had pierced the delicate skin of his neck, a mysterious force whipped it out of his hands and hurled it out of his reach. Frustrated, Loki kicked and thrashed as he reached out for the blade in a desperate attempt to reclaim it. But each time he got closer to the knife, it suddenly drifted teasingly away from him.

Loki cursed under his breath and searched his coat for another knife. As hard as he looked, he couldn't seem to find another blade, even though he could've sworn that he'd tucked several of them away. He heard another cackle and whipped around to see the face of the taunting being once again.

This time, he managed to get a better glimpse of it. He couldn't entirely make out its features, for its face was almost entirely covered by a hood, but he could make out a hideous blue mouth covered by some kind of golden-colored grate. The mouth was twisted in a sadistic smile as the being watched Loki struggling to reclaim his knife. Loki could sense that the being was pleased at successfully besting him.

Loki steadily returned its gaze, determined not to let the being win the struggle. "Very well then. If it's a game you want, then so be it. But don't count on winning such a desperate race," Loki warned.

The being laughed again before it disappeared from view. Loki let out a frustrated howl. He felt powerless against this being, whatever it was, and he had a terrible feeling that he would be the loser in this battle. Although his imprisonment in the wormhole had only just begun, he shuddered to think at what kind of torment the being would resort to before it finally got what it wanted.

Well, if the being thought he was easy prey, it had no idea what he'd been through. After discovering he was a Frost Giant, attempting to prove himself to his father while failing miserably, and surviving in a wormhole for this long, Loki didn't have anything left to lose. He was certain that the being had far more to lose than he did. As long as he sat it out, the being would eventually give up on him and leave him alone to die.

Loki smiled, retrieved his knife, and changed his expression to completely obliterate all traces of emotion. He was looking forward to this challenge. After all, just how far could a being go to win a helpless man to his side? Surely there wasn't much he could do besides laugh at him.

_Well, we'll see who has the last laugh, _Loki thought to himself. _Perhaps I really will be able to die alone after all. If only Thor were here to see just how competent I am at holding off dangerous foes._

…..

Loki could not tell how much time had passed, but it didn't really matter whether it had been months or merely days. What mattered was just how much he had underestimated the being who tortured him daily, whom he had decided to call the Other.

Apparently there were ways to allow unfortunate sons trapped in wormholes to view terrifying images of slaughter and disfigurement on other planets to make one scream aloud for mercy at the agony of it all. There were also ways to show planets exploding, nightmare images of families dying in the most terrible ways possible, and the Other laughing cruelly all the while during the tortures.

Loki came to abhor his tormentor and his own powerlessness to stop it. If only he had been back on Asgard, he could have frozen the Other solid and blasted him into pieces small enough to fit under a microscope. But out here, in the great void of outer space, all he could do was continue to fall and scream and cry as more and more horrific images assaulted his eyes each second.

The only way he could protest was by attempting to hide the fact that these scenes bothered him, but he wasn't quite sure how much longer he could go on pretending. He had already been deeply emotionally wounded when he'd let himself fall into the wormhole, but with each torment that the Other exposed him to, Loki felt himself breaking even more. He felt as though his sanity was beginning to slip. All he wanted to do was get it over with and escape from the dreadfulness that the Other inflicted upon him.

The Other ensured, however, that no matter what Loki tried, he simply could not die. Loki had tried everything-suffocating himself with his cape, swallowing his knife, attempting to break his neck-but every time he attempted to kill himself, the Other made sure that he was stopped at the last second. Every time he was foiled, Loki fell even deeper into despair. He could see no other way out of the wormhole, but he had a feeling that even if there was a way to escape besides death, the Other would somehow prevent him from seeking it.

Torment wasn't the only thing that Loki endured in the wormhole, however. Somehow, the Other had discovered a way to keep Loki alive without needing to provide him with food or drink. This was almost worse than being forced to watch horrific things each day. Loki's throat was so parched that each swallow was painful, and his stomach burned with hunger. He began to feverishly daydream of the extravagant meals he'd eaten at Asgard. Even the simplest of sustenance, like bread and water, began to seem like ambrosia to Loki. If Loki weren't so keen on keeping his own body intact, he'd probably have resorted to eating his own arm off long ago.

The only way Loki could escape from the torment was by attempting to sleep while in the wormhole. He'd only manage to doze off for a few seconds before the Other forced him awake, but a few seconds free from agony was better than nothing. He was beginning to wonder why the Other was even using such extreme methods to force him to locate this Tesseract thing. Surely the Other would have preferred for Loki to remain sane in order to search for the Tesseract more successfully? Trying to find a power source while starved, dehydrated, sleep-deprived, and half-mad surely wasn't a path to success. And yet the Other continued the daily torment, which continued to worsen until Loki wondered how much longer he could go without losing his mind entirely.

One day, however, proved just how desperate the Other was to break Loki's resistance. Loki hadn't believed that anything could be worse than near-constant images of gory violence and planets being destroyed. The only thing that could be worse was seeing his family ruined-which was exactly what the Other presented gleefully to him.

Asgard, once shining in golden glory, was left in bloodstained ruins. Pieces of concrete, metal, and wood lay strewn about the streets like flotsam and jetsam. A trail of blood led into the palace of Odin Allfather and Queen Frigga. Loki gulped in anxious anticipation as the view shifted into the interior of the palace itself.

The next thing that met Loki's eyes was so horrible that he had to shield his eyes with his arm for a moment before he dared to look at it. When he finally willed himself to stare at it, tears filled his eyes and slowly traveled down his wan cheek. Lying on the floor, covered in hideous wounds almost too disgusting to look at, in a pool of red, were Odin and Frigga. Odin's eyepatch had been torn off so that the ugly scar was fully exposed, and his armor was crushed so as to seemingly have impeded any resistance. Frigga's dress was slashed in several places, and her eyes and mouth were open in an expression of desperation.

"Mother," Loki choked, reaching out hopelessly towards the image of his slain mother. The scene faded away before Loki could touch it. Cruel laughter filled the air. Loki flinched, realizing that the Other had tricked him into surrendering. He should have known that the scene was false-he had no idea what had happened in Asgard after he'd fallen into the wormhole, and he knew full well that all the images that the Other showed him were designed to manipulate him into giving in.

"Fine. You've won. I give in to your foolish game. Now tell me what I have to do in order to escape from this madness," Loki snarled. As soon as the words escaped his lips, he suddenly found himself in a very different realm. Blinking in confusion, Loki looked around and took in his surroundings. He was standing on what seemed to be a floating platform of rock in the middle of space. The rock island was barren, with no signs of life in sight. There seemed to be an enormous floating throne nearby with a gargantuan apelike figure sitting upon it, but when Loki stepped towards it, the figure did not turn around.

For a moment, Loki wondered if the figure in the throne was a statue, but then he heard a low chuckle emanate from the being. A shiver ran down Loki's spine as he saw his tormentor silently consult with the figure in the throne. He had the feeling that what was to come would be far worse than the torture he'd endured in the wormhole and that there would be no escaping from this. He waited silently, wondering how he could get himself out of this. He'd need to know exactly what these strange aliens wanted from him before he could concoct an idea for escape.

He held his breath, waiting for what seemed like an eternity before the two beings finally stopped conferring. Then the Other turned towards him and walked towards him slowly and with purpose. Loki stood up straight and plastered an expression of calm indifference on his face. He knew instinctively that stoicism was the only way to ensure that the aliens wouldn't attempt to torment him further.

He didn't have to wait long for the Other to speak. "You have heard our offer, stranger. We need one to track down the Tesseract on the puny globe of earth and water that is known to you as Earth…or Midgard. This artifact will allow us to conquer thousands of vast worlds beyond what you know. The entire universe shall be ours while pitiful worlds burn to ashes at our feet. If you help us track it down and wield its power, some of that can be yours. And after the humiliation you suffered by those infernal beings up in Asgard, surely you'd love to own part of the universe for yourself?"

Loki considered the offer for a moment. This could be a chance to show all the naysayers back home that he really was capable of ruling as a wise and just king. If he could rule an entire world peacefully, then perhaps Odin might consider him an equal to Thor. Loki licked his lips hungrily. He considered the idea…then shook his head. World conquering was not exactly his forte.

Besides, he really had no interest in taking a throne for himself. If the Other had offered him a chance to be seen as Thor's equal, he'd have taken it as a heartbeat. But since all they wanted him to do was hunt down a silly little Tesseract and rule part of the galaxy, he'd have to turn them down this time.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not interested," Loki said softly. "A throne has never been my goal. All I wanted was to be equal to my brother, not to be king. I'm afraid you're going to have to find someone else to find the Tesseract for you. Now, if you'll just send me back into the wormhole in peace, I'll be on my way and you can continue your plans of world conquest without any interruption."

As soon as the last word left his lips, Loki soon realized that he'd said the wrong thing. He took a step backward, drawing in his breath sharply when he saw the titanic figure sitting on the throne turn towards him. He recoiled in horror at first upon seeing the foreboding godlike figure wearing armor…..then laughed as the ridiculousness of cowering before a purple baboon on a handsome chair struck him.

The armored titan didn't seem to find the situation very amusing. "I'd be more careful about what comes forth from your lips, _boy_," the titan snarled. "Escape is by no means an option for you. We cannot afford to let the Tesseract slip away from us. If you continue to resist, there will be suffering greater than you have ever known in store for you."

"And how will you inflict that? All you do is sit on your mighty chair and glower at me. I've learned a few tricks in my time that would have you mewling on your knees before me," Loki smirked. He found the titan's talk of suffering and consequences rather amusing. After surviving torment in the wormhole and the shock of discovering he was a Frost Giant, Loki wasn't surprised by many things anymore. He figured that all he had to do was call the giant's bluff, and the titan would be intimidated enough to set him free.

For a few minutes, the titan looked shocked. The cartoonish expression of surprise on the giant's face was enough to send Loki into another fit of gleeful cackling. "It's just as I said. You are but a whimpering coward who hides himself behind a mask of courage. You are no match for me, I can assure you. If you dare to tempt me further, I can turn you into the most despicable beast and ensure that you never return to your former pitiful self. And far worse awaits you if you continue to torment me. I suggest letting me go free and finding a more sufficient replacement to locate the Tesseract for you. I have never been the best tracker to begin with," Loki grinned.

It seemed as though he would be able to use his silver tongue to escape from the unimaginable task that the titan had in store for him. He smirked again, then relaxed his tense muscles and stood up straight as he eagerly awaited to be released.

A moment of eerie silence filled the space between Loki and the giant. Then the titan let out an ear-piercing scream that left Loki's eyes watering. "HOW _DARE _YOU, YOU SAUCY PIECE OF DIRT!" screamed the titan. "For your impudence, you will suffer as no being has ever suffered before. I WILL have you locate the Tesseract, and any further protests will only give you greater pain."

Startled, Loki opened his mouth to protest, but before he could say a word, the Other lunged from behind and wrestled him into a kneeling position. Loki attempted to struggle, but the Other's iron grip kept his arms from lashing out. The titan walked slowly and deliberately before him, holding an iron rod in his meaty hand that gleamed ominously.

Loki smiled saucily once more, amused by the titan's attempts to torment him. At best, the iron bar could only concuss him. He was certain that the titan wanted him to suffer worse pain than a bad headache, but clearly the titan had no experience in torture.

Grinning wickedly, the titan slowly raised the bar about Loki's head. Loki continued to smile, utterly unconvinced that the bar would be able to cause him even mild pain. As the titan continued to raise the bar, Loki noticed that the bar had a strange reddish-orange gleam to it. As the titan began to rapidly bring the bar down on Loki's head, Loki could feel heat emanating from the iron weapon. Before he had a chance to scream, a horrible searing sensation ripped across Loki's forehead.

He howled in agony, fully realizing the horror being inflicted upon him far too late. Of course-the Other must have gathered somehow that he was a Frost Giant, and what better way to torment a being of ice than to burn them? Hatred for his tormentor seethed within Loki as the titan laughed cruelly with each painful blow. A disgusting sizzling sound echoed through the space, and Loki dreaded to imagine what the injury looked like. He prayed that he would be spared any permanent disfigurement from the torture. Every so often, the titan glanced at him, clearly expecting Loki to crumple and give in at any moment.

Loki remained defiant, trying his hardest not to show the titan how much the heat hurt him. Despite his attempts to keep a calm exterior, on the inside he was screaming in agony and fearing that he would bear hideous deformities by the end of the torture. He could never have imagined that such a simple tool could cause him such pain. He continued to wriggle out of the Other's grasp, but for each inch that he managed to slip away from the Other, the Other gripped his arms with ten more ounces of strength.

Loki managed to bear the pain reasonably well for the first ten minutes of the torture. By the time half an hour had passed, however, Loki's forehead was screaming in pain and he wanted to rip the bar out of the titan's hands. He would gladly have taken his own life if it meant defying the titan and escaping the torment, but as his arms were held firmly by the Other, there was nothing he could do to end it. Loki's eyes were beginning to water, and though he gulped and endeavored to hide it, he was very much aware that the titan took pleasure in seeing him weep.

Eventually, the pain came to the point where Loki was certain his skull would split open if he didn't do something to end it. "Stop!" Loki whimpered. He looked up at the titan desperately, hoping that the titan would heed his words. With such a heartless and powerful tormentor, Loki wasn't sure that the torture would stop even if he cried and begged. "Please…I'll find your stupid Tesseract…I'll go to Earth and conquer it if that's what you want…I'll do anything as long as you stop burning me. Please….stop!"

The titan grinned and ceased to rest the iron bar on Loki's forehead. "Wise choice, boy," the titan smirked. The titan made a signal to the Other to release Loki, and the strange assistant let Loki drop to the ground with a rather unceremonious thump. For several moments, Loki was unable to do anything other than sob and gasp. The burning on his head had reached a screaming level of unbearableness. He could feel every millimeter of skin that had been melted away by the scorching bar, and he was quite certain that his hairline had receded several inches permanently. Hesitantly, he reached up to touch and nearly fainted from the pain. Every nauseating blister in the red sea of skin throbbed like Hel from merely being brushed against.

Loki knew then that there was no more chances of defiance. Nothing he could do would be able to free himself from the power of the mad titan. The only thing left for him to do was kneel quietly before the titan, retrieve the item that had been requested, and hope that the titan would leave him alone for centuries after all was said and done with. If the titan was willingly to use everything he had to inflict great suffering upon Loki, then the titan was capable of far worse. Loki wasn't interested in seeing how much further the titan could go after that horrible experience.

"I am sorry. I shall fetch the Tesseract for you, even at the cost of my life," Loki mumbled subserviently.

The titan grinned so wide that Loki could see every one of the giant being's disgusting teeth. "I am certain that you will. We will equip you with an army and a staff powerful enough to wipe the minds of those you encounter. If you are successful with your endeavor, then we will not bother you for centuries to come. But if you fail me, boy….I will make certain that you will be caught and be in such agony that a word such as pain will fail to resonate with any meaning to you."

Loki nodded as the Other went up to the titan to discuss the invasion. He was inwardly shaking with fear at the thought of invading Earth to find the Tesseract. After seeing Thor defeat the Destroyer and return to Asgard with the help of rather obnoxious humans, Loki knew what Earthlings were capable of. He wasn't entirely certain that the plan would succeed, but what choice did he have? It was either act as a pawn of the titan or else suffer for the rest of his existence. And since Asgardians could live for thousands of years, Loki was certain that he did not want to face whatever horrendous punishment the titan might have in store for him.

As the Other handed him a mysterious staff with a glowing blue stone embedded in it, Loki smiled quietly to himself. Terrified as he was of the titan, he was beginning to form a plan to escape. It would require failing the titan, murder, deception, and possibly betraying his brother for the thousandth time. All of it were things Loki was highly skilled in and knew how to pull off well. It would probably end in his death-or worse-but it was all he had. And if his idea had any chance of working, then perhaps he would be able to return to Asgard. He'd be bound in chains, naturally, but he would rather disgrace his family than live in eternal torment.

As the Other sent him back to the wormhole to send him to Earth, Loki shivered in anticipation. He had no idea what was waiting for him on Midgard, but he knew it wasn't pleasant. But he had a plan, and since all was lost to him, he'd give it a shot. After all, he was nothing if not the God of Mischief, and mischief had certainly served him well in the past. Perhaps mischief would be just what he needed to find his way out again this time.

At least he'd be able to wear nice suits while he was on Midgard. And there was certainly nothing painful about that.


End file.
